Public Critique: DREGO'S SWORD Query

 

Are you guys up for a query critique? It's been awhile! This one is for a YA high fantasy (fun!) and it's nice and short. Let's see what kind of feedback you have for Ashley who'd really love some outside input. If you're interested in having a query or excerpt posted for critique, please e-mail me for details.

Dear (Agent)

War is tearing apart the countries of Cyrah. Power-hungry Gordar has killed the previous king and has ascended to the throne. Using a kidnapped seer and a ruthless assassin, Gordar is bent on finding the three gems hidden throughout the land. A single gem holds an infinite amount of magic. Whoever possesses all three will have power unlimited.

But the first of the gems has already fallen into the hands of seventeen-year-old Drego, a talented young warrior from a small coastal village. He sets out to find the last two gems and defeat Gordar, a journey that will take him throughout Cyrah, into the arms of a headstrong young woman, and to a darker, more violent part of himself he hadn’t known existed.

Drego's Sword is an epic medieval fantasy that is 95, 000 words in length. It is the first book in a young adult series.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Ashley

Public Critique: POSSESSED Query II

Hello everyone! Sara has rewritten her query based on your fabulous comments. Please give the rewrite a look and offer any further advice or constructive criticism you may have. If you're interested in having a query, synopsis, or excerpt posted on Lit Rambles for critique, check out my contribute page.

POSSESSED
(query)
Supernatural Thriller
By Sara Kjeldsen

Dear Agent,

Nineteen year-old Gabriel awakens in a bright room. Only moments ago he was trapped in a haunted forest. Or so he thinks. Two people in long, white coats unstrap him from a reclined chair. They tell him that he volunteered at the White Horizon Research Facility for a classified psychological study two weeks ago. The reality that he had known before was only a product of radiation, electrodes, and drugs.

He is not supposed to remember who he is or what he has done. The experiment is a failure. His memory of the real world returns along with the angry voices that have plagued him for five years. He knows what they want with him. He is a murderer.

One of the other volunteers - Gabriel`s cousin, Adeline - suddenly goes crazy and escapes the facility in a violent rage. Gabriel and two of the other particpants overhear the doctors debating on whether or not to euthanize the rest of them. Gabriel, Julia, and Caleb barely escape. To make matters worse, Adeline will not rest until she kills all three of them. Wherever they go, she finds them.

Gabriel will have to find a way to keep himself - and his new friends - alive without reverting back to murderous ways.

Possessed is a young adult supernatural thriller with a final word count of 56,000 words.

Thank you for taking the time to review my work.

Sincerely,

Sara Flower Kjeldsen

Public Critique: Excerpt of DAWNSHIFT

Here's the second and last critique for this week, a 250-word excerpt from Ellen Wardle's YA paranormal DAWNSHIFT.  If you have the time, please give it a read and offer any advice or constructive criticism you may have.  I'll be adding my critique comment later today.  If you're interested in having a query, synopsis, or excerpt posted on Lit Rambles for critique, check out my contribute page.

DAWNSHIFT
(excerpt)
YA Paranormal
By Ellen Wardle

1. BURNT BLOOD

It was dark, the night sky was black and smooth like star-spangled velvet overlain with strips of mist and far-off snippets of the milky-way. I stepped backwards, my foot crushed a twig, it snapped with the sound of a gunshot. I felt my heart catching in my throat. I wasn’t scared of the darkness, no; I’d never been scared of the dark. I was scared of what was hidden in the darkness, the blackest night. But I was ready for it too. I was ready for him.

I could feel him close by; could feel the fear and anticipation that happened every time I had gotten this close; Every time I missed him.

Not tonight, I thought to myself, not tonight. Tonight was my night and I was ready. It had taken me months, over a year, to get to this stage. I was not losing tonight.

I knew he was watching from somewhere out there in that velvety blackness, he could be a hundred meters in any direction; I felt the hairs on the back of my neck raise and prickle I knew those blue eyes were on me, he was out there somewhere.

“Come on,” I whispered into the darkness. “Show yourself.”

I knew he could hear my voice just as easily as he could hear my pounding heartbeat. But I was ready.

“Hello Dawn.”

I whipped round, he had spoken pleasantly, like I was his friend not his hunter, like I wasn’t ambushing him here in the dark.

Public Critique and Wanted Ad: EVER

Thank you for all the fabulous feedback you gave Jamie on her query.  You guys are fabulous critiquers!  As mentioned, here's a brief excerpt of EVER for critique.  Jamie is also looking for a critique partner.  In her words, "I write YA Paranormal (vampires, witches, wolves, etc) and would love to pair with someone who writes the same so we can really fuel each others' works!"  If you're interested in pairing up with Jamie, e-mail me at caseymccormickya (at) gmail (dot) com and I'll put you in touch!

EVER
(excerpt)
YA Paranormal
By Jamie Manning

1. REBORN

I woke to the coppery smell of blood and a hunger unlike anything I had ever felt. My head burned hard and fast, sending shards of pain and heat over my entire body. I could hear and feel my own breath, short and raspy, choke its way out of my lungs and up my throat. My nose burned with the smell of dirt and sweat and I was surrounded by total darkness. A helluva way to wake up.

As the pain in my head eased, the hunger in my stomach grew stronger. It seemed to spread out over my entire body, making my skin crawl and my mind spin. All I could think about was eating and eating soon. But I wasn’t craving food.

I was craving blood.

The thought of it filled my mind like molten lava, sweeping in and burying all other thoughts and ideas and leaving me with an aching emptiness that only it could fill. I had to have it, and I had no idea why.

What’s wrong with me? Am I seriously lying here thinking about blood? Have I totally lost my mind?

All good questions that I had zero answers for. I couldn’t even stomach watching someone being killed in a horror movie. Just the idea of having my blood drawn at the doctor’s office caused me to break out in hives. So how in the world could I now be actually considering drinking blood? I tried to push the overwhelming and totally disgusting thought of blood – and what I wanted to do with it – out of my mind and focus on figuring out where the hell I was.

Public Critique: EVER Query

Hello!  It's time for another query critique.  Give this one a good look!  Next week, Jamie will be back with a brief excerpt for critique and is looking for a critique partner.  If you have the time, please give the query a read and offer any advice or constructive criticism you may have.  If you're interested in having a query, synopsis, or excerpt posted on Lit Rambles for critique, check out my contribute page.

EVER
(query)
YA Paranormal
By Jamie Manning

Dear Dream Agent,

Waking up in a coffin hungry for blood is only the beginning for sixteen-year-old Everly Blue. Her desire to drink plasma, though, pales next to her desire for Chance Caldon, the hottie who dug her up. He’s gorgeous, super-nice, and has delicious-smelling blood that Everly wants very much to taste. But when Chance tells her that she’s half vampire, Everly’s world turns upside down.

Half vamp? No way. Everly can’t believe it. Not until Devon, a thousand-year-old vampire, shows up and tells her it’s true. And that he’s the one who turned her. Now Everly’s mind has to deal with that sudden bloodlust and the desire to see Devon dead. She’s a monster now, she can feel it; and her life is over.

But redemption isn’t lost. Devon turned Everly to save her life after he found her nearly dead, and now he’s giving her a chance to regain her humanity. The price? Kill 100 vampires or remain a bloodsucker forever.

So with Chance by her side and no other choice, Everly sets out to get her life back. All the while having to deal with her feelings for Chance, her hatred for Devon (who she knows has a hidden agenda), some new-found vampire hunting friends and that pesky taste for blood that just won’t go away.

Once Everly starts killing vampires, though, the local covens come after her, starting a battle that could destroy everything Everly has been working toward. In the end, Everly is forced to make a decision that will change her life forever.

My young adult novel, EVER, is complete at 70,000 words. I think fans of the supernatural will enjoy this story of a girl thrown into a life of danger and romance. Thank you for your time and consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,
Jamie Manning
jmanni32.blogspot.com

Public Critique: MOONY HILL

Good morning!  Today I have an excerpt from a 695-word story called MOONY HILL by Dana Gaar up for critique.  The excerpt gives a taste of the beginning and end, and she envisioned it as a picture book but says that may change.  If you have the time, please give it a read and offer any advice or constructive criticism you may have.  If you're interested in having a query, synopsis, or excerpt posted on Lit Rambles for critique, check out my contribute page.

ETA:  At Dana's request, I've posted the full story.

 

MOONY HILL
By Dana Gaar

 

Walking to a party over Moony Hill 

Where trees are blushing and autumn’s revealed

 

In the hollow below, in the late night air

Tables covered with drinks and plenty of fare

 

A bonfire is roaring 

to lessen the chill 

But we’ve all 

heard the legend of Moony Hill

 

Spun by our fathers

in the full moon light

Tales of old man Moony

and his mean old wife

 

The rumor is wild and the tale it is tall

A time after summer, before the snow fall

They lived back in the woods

at the top of a rise

And fought night and day

for most of their lives.

Legend’s not clear

what happened to him

But she was found headless

where daylight is dim

The hill remained quiet

for a day and a year

When the harvest moon rose,

we thought we could hear. . .

Some say it’s a panther

at times we hear wail

Though seen many nights

by those who dare tell

Alone before dusk,

you may do what you will

Her head in her hands,

she haunts twilight till

 

But the stories are old 

and it’s been a long time

Things parents made up 

to get children to mind

 

Though it’s quite dark, it won’t be that bad

Let’s not be afraid, there’s fun to be had

 

A moonlit ride in a wagon of hay

A quiver and shiver at the coyote’s bay

 

Legs that dangled when the night owl screeched

Were quickly pulled up and tucked underneath

 

The wind would howl 

and the bushes would wiggle

Bringing squeals and shrieks 

that turned into giggles

 

The graveyard crept by

in a ‘lay in wait’ manner

While the hair on our necks 

belied our brave banter 

 

Roasting wienies on sticks

round the great open blaze

Dark phantoms behind 

danced in long fiery waves

 

Burnt to a crisp 

were a dozen marshmallows  

Glancing over our shoulders 

at strange moving shadows

 

Wearing sly little grins

we poked and we picked

Deliciously soaked

in the hour of the witch

 

At the end of the night when the haunting was done

We banded together as though we were one

 

Walking home from the party back over the hill

We laughed at the things that gave us a chill

 

But black is the color of autumn at night

Different shades of the same creep around in moonlight

 

Sounds are so different when light’s not around

They’re louder and closer and fearfully bound

 

Hearts jumped in our chests 

when we heard the low moan,

Was it animal, wind, or the trees that had groaned?

 

Impossible to tell if imagined or real

We all drew in close, hushing our squeal

 

Some looked to the left others looked to the right

Wishing for home with all of our might

 

The air was quite fluffy, like clouds on the ground

We could not see up, we could not see down

 

When you look hard enough 

the darkness takes form

Like clouds in the sky 

on a cool autumn morn

 

Is that moss hanging down in the trees just ahead 

Or giant black bats about to be fed?

 

We teased each other with a joke and a dare

Cringing with dread, but in love with the scare

 

Just about then 

as we rounded the curve

We heard a far wail 

and there went our nerve

 

Is that?  Oh my! You think it could it be? 

Go see! No way! Please go before me!

 

The legend of old no longer a lark

Lady Moony’s arrived so we must depart!

 

With the swoop of a bat, 

we missed not a beat

The only thing left 

was the dust from our feet!

 

Running and screaming does not require balance

Tripping, not falling, now that takes some talent!

 

Did you see? Yes, I saw! Though he shook his head no.

Was it her? Yes, I’m sure! I felt her so close!

 

We gasped and we panted and started to slow

With hands on our knees, a thought started to grow

 

Of all the night’s spooks and whimsical ghosts

We find, after all, we’d scared ourselves most!

Dana Gaar

Public Critique: POSSESSED Query

Hey all! Here's the query I mentioned last week.  If you have the time, please give it a read and offer any advice or constructive criticism you may have.  If you're interested in having a query, synopsis, or excerpt posted on Lit Rambles for critique, check out my contribute page.

POSSESSED
(query)
Supernatural Thriller
By Sara Kjeldsen

Dear Agent So-and-So,

Fourteen-year-old Gabriel has killed more men than he can count. After fighting in the Napoleonic War for two years, he is now stuck at home with his parents. Gabriel's father has forbidden him to return to sea after losing his left hand in battle. To make matters worse, Gabriel is forced to go on a long trip to visit his aging aunt in the country. His boredom evaporates when he hears voices in a dark room filled with locked cabinets.

Gabriel's curiosity is cut short when a series of tragic events drive him into the woods with a madman in hot pursuit. The voices from the room follow him there. Just when he thinks that he is going mad, the truth unravels. Everything that he thought was real is a lie, including his identity. He is not a soldier. He is a cold blooded murderer.

The angry voices of those that he shot five years ago will not go away. Is there any way out of everlasting punishment for killing the innocent? Gabriel is certain that there isn`t one.

Possessed is a supernatural thriller that contains a final word count of 56,139 words. I have pasted the first ten pages at the bottom of this email.

Thank you for taking the time to review my work. If you would like to see more of my manuscript, please let me know.

Sincerely,
Sara Kjeldsen

Public Critique: THE EDGE OF OBLIVION

Hey all!  I have another query eager for your feedback.  Perhaps this will become a regular feature?  I have one scheduled for next week as well.  If you have the time, please give it a read and offer any advice or constructive criticism you may have.  If you're interested in having a query, synopsis, or excerpt posted on Lit Rambles for critique, check out my contribute page.

THE EDGE OF OBLIVION
(query)
YA Fantasy
By Tim Fletcher

My 60,000 word Young Adult Fantasy, THE EDGE OF OBLIVION, is the first in a series of adventures that follow Paul, a reformed juvenile delinquent, on a mission to save a secret magical town.

On the run from his probation officer, Paul and his disabled friend Billy accept a strange invitation to escape to a magical paradise. For years, outcast children have been invited to Splendor by a clairvoyant raven named Livingston. Here in this secret town, unwanted kids discover the magic that has always lain dormant inside them. For any kid who has ever wanted a second chance, Splendor is a perfect refuge, a place where the very thing that made them outsiders, now makes them strangely powerful.

But Paul’s presence ignites a raging battle. Once a simple garden slug, the Duke has tapped into the magic of Splendor to conjure a horrific new form. As he consumes his enemies, he acquires their magic. Each day his power grows. Now, as commander of the mutant army of Oblivion, he tears apart the city in a search for the singular source of all magic, the essence that keeps Splendor and her citizens alive.

Paul’s allies? There’s a brainy kid who can calculate anything, such as the split second that lightning bolt will strike, or the precise path of a falling leaf. There’s a little girl whose laugher is not only contagious, but for those without the anecdote, fatal. And there’s a bully whose words can kill – literally. Paul’s mentor is Livingston, a one-winged, half-blind raven who sees the future, yet dies a little when he tries to warn others. Everyone in Splendor has a unique magical talent – everyone but Paul. Livingston assures Paul that he was recruited to Splendor for a reason, and that he alone can lead the others to save the city. But how? Paul has no magic – or does he?

Paul must discover the awesome power - and the terrible curse - of his own hidden magic, before leading a band of misfit kids into battle against an army of wonderfully weird and grotesque monsters.

My background is in the entertainment industry. I have edited horror films and produced cartoons for Hanna-Barbara, the studio famous for Scooby-Doo and the Flintstones. Today I write advertising copy and design marketing campaigns for Microsoft. Each of the three of the novels I have planned in the series explores themes of self-discovery and hope for those who don't feel they belong. I think you'll find that the flawed characters and universal themes in the story reflect my background in persuading people to believe in something greater than themselves, which very often is the true version of who they are.

I’m happy to send you any number of pages,

Tim Fletcher

Public Critique: Lori's Revised Query

Hello everyone!  Lori has revised her query based on your awesome comments but isn't too sure about the revision.  Please give it a look and offer any further advice or constructive criticism you may have.  If you're interested in having a query, synopsis, or excerpt posted on Lit Rambles for critique, check out my contribute page.

BREATHE
(query)
By Lori Johnson

When an elderly friend gives seventeen-year-old Taylor a beautiful charm bracelet, little does she know the gift is a curse. Taylor wears the keys to the gates of Hell.

Breandán, the new guy at school, is a magnet to everyone who meets him, and even Taylor falls for him instantly. She tosses aside her boyfriend, friends, and popularity for a chance to be with the ethereal stranger. Breandán tells Taylor he has dreamed of her for years. But when Breandán sees Taylor wearing the charm bracelet, he knows she is more than fate – she could be deadly. Breandán admits he’s a warrior angel who was sent, along with his family, to guard the Heir who wears the keys.

Breandán is not supposed to love Taylor, who is now the reluctant Heir. Because of his actions, he is banished back to his home land. Demons from the Realm of Darkness take advantage of Breandán’s absence to possess Taylor’s ex-boyfriend in order to lure Taylor into opening Hell’s doors. Somehow Taylor must find a way to save him without sacrificing the angel she loves, even if it means her own death.

I am querying you because you (personal touch here). My YA fantasy romance, Breathe, is complete at 90,000 words. Per your submission guidelines I have (followed directions here). Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Public Critique: Erin's Query

Hello!  I have another query for public critique.  If you have the time, please give it a read and offer any advice or constructive criticism you may have.  If you're interested in having a query, synopsis, or excerpt posted on Lit Rambles for critique, check out my contribute page.

OFF THE EDGE
(query)
YA Romantic Adventure
by Erin Apelu

Dear (Agent):

Nineteen-year-old Eden Anderson is beautiful, popular, and well endowed. Her adventurous personality and perfect figure makes her the envy of many girls from her small town in Idaho. But Eden is unexpectedly single, and always leery of attention from the opposite sex after enduring a life-time of unwanted eyeball body scans and inappropriate comments. After finding the “man of her dreams,” she is dumped and discarded like yesterday’s paper when she won’t take their relationship to the next step—physically.

When Eden’s parents send her to live with her cousin, Claire, for the summer on the North Shore of Hawaii, the last thing she wants is to think about the male species. But Claire puts “Operation Eden” into play from day one, and tries setting her up with beach-volleyball-surfers hoping her cousin will find someone like her own Adonis-like boyfriend. Eden has no intention of indulging her cousin’s desires and only wants to relax on the beach while preparing her brain to start college in the fall.

Everything changes when Eden meets Noa, the mysterious playboy back from college and the one boy who can never be hers. She’s determined to have him, but only in her fantasy—the safest place for her beaten-down heart. When the charming Noa takes a sudden interest in Eden, she’s right to doubt his intentions—his reputation for being a "player" is as deep and never-ending as his pocket change, and she’s not willing to take that train again. Not to mention his “supposed” lunatic ex-girlfriend is stalking her. She tries her best to keep their relationship in the ‘just friends’ category, but Noa's good looks, charming attitude, and constant attention proves this a difficult task. When Eden agrees to accompany him on a sailing trip to Maui, she finds herself jumping off cliffs (something she swore she would never do again), swimming with sharks, and braving a storm that threatens to sink their tiny sailboat. Eden falls hard for the charming playboy, but it might not matter when an unexpected accident will most surely take everything away, including her life.

Eden’s summer adventure in Hawaii starts as a journey of escape, but follows deeper paths of real love and self-discovery. Come join Eden as she spends an adventurous summer in Paradise discovering if taking the leap of love is worth the risk. Told in Eden’s distinctive voice, at turns sarcastic and sensitive, “Off the Edge” is a complete 96,000 word young adult novel.

I spent five years as a tour-guide in Hawaii gaining knowledge of the island, culture, and expectations of typical tourists. Based on my real-life adventures while attending Brigham Young University Hawaii on the North Shore of Oahu, “Off the Edge” brings to life the everyday insecurities that young adults face with heartbreak, love, and lose.

Thank you for taking the time to get to know Eden (I dare you to not lover her!). I have included the first five pages below. The completed manuscript is available for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you, and I’m excited to jump in and promote “Off the Edge”.

Sincerely,
Erin Apelu

[contact info redacted]

Public Critique: Lori's Query

You guys gave some great input on Lori's synopsis!  She's super appreciative and would love it if you'd take a look at her query as well.  If you have the time, please give it a read and offer any advice or constructive criticism you may have.  If you're interested in having a query, synopsis, or excerpt posted on Lit Rambles for critique, check out my contribute page.

BREATHE
(query)
By Lori Johnson

Dear (specific agent name):

Seventeen-year-old Taylor stumbles into chaos with an angelic face and an Irish brogue.  Breandán turns out to be an angel with a vindictive family. And they have no tolerance for humans, especially her. She holds the power to destroy them.

Breandán casts a spell over Taylor, and she dumps her boyfriend. An elderly friend that lives in the nursing home where Taylor volunteers declares Taylor is the Heir and gives her a bracelet that could start a war between the legions of angels and demons. Her friend dies before Taylor learns the power of the bracelet, and why Breandán and his family are terrified of it. Little does Taylor know that she is nothing but a pawn for an evil conspiracy determined to destroy the angels.

Breandán is temporarily banished from Earth for loving a human, which gives the demons their chance to obtain the Heir’s power. The demons need human hosts, and Taylor’s ex-boyfriend and his friends succumb to their lure. Girls from the community disappear, including one of Taylor’s friends. What Taylor doesn’t know is that she’s next. After Taylor betrays her ex and reveals the demon within him, the demons declare open warfare on the angels. Somehow Taylor must find a way to save her friends and Breandán, even if it means her own death.

I am querying you because (personal touch here). My YA paranormal romance, Breathe, is complete at 90,000 words. Per your submission guidelines I have (followed directions here). Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely, (personal info follows)

Public Critique: Lori's Synopsis

Hello everyone!  Today I'm posting a synopsis for critique.  If you have the time please give it a read and offer any advice or constructive criticism you may have.  We all know how challenging synopses are!  If you're interested in having a query, synopsis, or excerpt posted on Lit Rambles for critique, check out my contribute page. 

BREATHE
(synopsis)
By Lori Johnson

TAYLOR MICHAELS has an amazing boyfriend, is envied by her friends and is the most popular girl at South Forrester High School.  She has no reason to want her life any other way; her life is perfect. 

But one January day, she stumbles upon the new guy at school, Breandán, and is immediately obsessed.  He is not only physically perfect, but mystical as well, even if he is a little full of himself.  Taylor is drawn to Breandán’s intensity and devotion, but loyalties and fear of the unknown pull her back to Erik, her current boyfriend.  Erik and his friends are aware she is attracted to Breandán and deem him a threat.  

While worrying over the Erik/Breandán dilemma, she seeks solace in routine.  Taylor is an artist and volunteers at a local nursing home where she teaches art lessons to the residents.  Taylor adopts one of the residents, Miss Champion, as a surrogate grandmother.  Miss Champion, ranting about an Heir and The Five Guardians, insists Taylor take her prized possession – a charm bracelet.  Breandán confronts Taylor about the bracelet. He is distressed she is wearing it and tells her she can’t possibly be the “Heir”, leaving her with more questions than answers. 

Breandán admits he can’t stay away from Taylor even though he should.  She suspects he can’t possibly be human.  Even with warning bells going off in her head, Taylor succumbs to Breandán’s spell and breaks up with Erik.  What she doesn’t know is that her choice has awakened a silent conspirator hell bent on destroying Breandán and his family.  She is nothing but a pawn in a plan to crush Breandán’s prophecy.   

Taylor meets Breandán’s family where she learns the bracelet represents the keys to the Gate of Darkness and to the demons that guard it.  She has the power to open the gates; all she has to do is choose the demons.  Breandán and his family are “guardians of the Aingeal – angels amongst humans” from the Realm of Light.  Breandán breaks the laws of his kind by loving a human and puts his world and powers in jeopardy.  Breandán’s mother betrays him to the Elders of Light and he is banished from Earth, leaving Taylor alone and vulnerable. 

Feeling off-kilter, she seeks Erik for companionship, which only intensifies her internal conflict.  She loves them both, but Breandán is gone and nothing will ever be the same.  She returns to her previous life and friends aware her heart has grown cold.

Breandán’s mother, poisoned by her betrayal and fearful for her family, compromises her role as leader of the guardians and returns Breandán to Earth.  Taylor is once again at an impasse; she can’t be with either Breandán or Erik.  But Breandán’s world continues to draw her in and she is unable to stay away.

Eventually Taylor faces the reality of her choosing her angel.  Breandán is in a precarious position. He must confront the risk of falling from grace with his own people and become as a human.  Taylor knows she must give Breandán up; she will never let that happen to him. 

Through a series of nightmares, Erik and his friends succumb to the demons from the Gate of Darkness and are threatening Taylor’s life.  Teenage girls from the community disappear, including one of Taylor’s friends.

Breandán and his brothers confront Taylor and tell her Erik has been taken over by a demon.  Taylor is the only one who can expose Erik and his friends for who they have become.  Taylor betrays Erik to the angels and is almost killed in the process.  The demons retaliate by declaring war on the angels.

With Taylor’s life in the balance and the existence of Solas threatened, the angels battle with the demons in order to save Taylor and their own world.  Taylor risks her life and rushes into the battle determined to save both Erik and Breandán.  Her love for Erik forces the demons away, but Breandán is wounded and one of his brothers is dead.  Breandán returns to his homeland in order to heal and Taylor is forced to remain with his vindictive angel family.  As we leave her, she is falling into a world of guilt and regret while she waits for her angel’s return.  This ending is intended to form the basis of a sequel and conclusion titled Prophecy.